Categories
Mental Health

My Struggle with Mental Health

Mental health is something we don’t talk about much in Nigeria. Now that the lockdown is taken a toll, there is the need to remove the stigma surrounding mental health so that those who need help can get it.

In secondary school, I learned about the power of the mind to make a person fall sick. I have been struggling with depression for 5 years. On April 14th, it got to a low point where my emotions could not be kept in. I would release them on the web.

The lockdown had been extended, my neighbour’s generator was blaring day and night, I had severe Malaria and Typhoid Fever. The entire cocktail made me want to let go.

There was no suicide attempt. However, I too am shocked by the things I wrote. Social media would make the tweets go viral. Sadly, it wasn’t what I wanted to trend for.

Bad Governance will kill Everyone

I would become depressed in 2015 after an accident where I would learn how to walk again. I hid my depression from my family because I didn’t want to go on medication.

The entire accident could have been prevented by speed bumps on the road. Ironic, that you could live you life minding your business and nearly die because someone didn’t do their job.

Breakdown in a Lockdown

If the goal of the lockdown was to increase despair among Nigerian youths, it was a resounding success.

Today, I am like Rocky in Creed I. I have lost my drive to contend. If something goes wrong at this point, I won’t be fixing it.

I didn’t have the heart to kill myself and that was why my thoughts landed on Twitter. It doesn’t mean that I am happy with things the way they are.

The next day, I would have a breakdown and land in hospital. Thus beginning a new phase of counselling and medication in my life.

I was triggered by the extension of the lockdown. If it had ended in the initial two weeks as planned, I would have been able to cope. I had managed my depression for 5 years. However, insomnia had set in and I could not get the medication I needed.

It’s All Down Everything

When it all fails, true leaders emerge

The country is a mess. We are approaching a recession. It would have been a time for superior leadership to rally the people, sadly they are hiding behind the pandemic.

I expect nothing from the current crop of politicians in power. They are meant to deceive the stupid and gullible.

Mending Fences

When a person becomes depressed, they no longer care about themselves much less their relationships with others.

I have missed weddings, insulted people and generally been uncouth. I regret my behaviour in the past and promise to do better.

Given my behaviour, I am surprised how people rallied on the web. Not that it would change my will to kill myself if I was suicidal but I am surprised that I meant anything to anyone after the damage I had done.

This is my public apology: “I am sorry if I have offended you in the last 5 years. I was battling a depression alone and didn’t know how to ask for help”.

Mentally Aware

I and my family remain forever grateful to the team at Mentally Aware. I don’t remember my about the events of the next day but my mum said that they handled my admission.

My family got refunded the amount we paid to the hospital. I was not admitted. Due to the lockdown my family was given injections and medication.

Conclusion

Today I am on medication for my depression. I also take Malaria medication once a month with the goal of clearing it from my system.

Counselling sessions have begun. I got a recommendation for a good Psychologist from Mentally Aware.

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Categories
Personal Development

DFIN 511: Introducton to Digital Currencies

Introduction

On September 9th 2019, the 12th class of the MOOC Introduction to Digital Currencies would hold.

This course is offered by the University of Nicosia in Cyprus.

This post is a look at my journey to finishing one of the longest online courses that I have ever taken.

Getting Started

I would first hear about the course in the Blockchain Nigeria User Group.

The Blockchain Nigeria User Group is the definitive Telegram group for all things Blockchain in Nigeria.

You can click here to join the group.

It is sort of a requirement to have finished the Digital Currencies course in the group although not a hard one.

The success of the group in getting people into this course was one reason for the large number of Nigerians that would take the course as seen from the image below:

Student Demographics MOOC 12

So I would start the course with all the excitement I needed.

Burial

My Grandfather Burial Poster

My grandfather had died in June this year. However, despite the fact that my mother was his first child, the burial couldn’t hold until the month of September when his first son (her junior brother) had given his approval.

The stress and strain from that period would make me regret signing up for the course.

However, I couldn’t withdraw from the course without losing face so I made a decision to stay.

By the end of September, we had concluded the funeral which would put a deep hole in the pockets of all the members of the family.

In my culture, its the grandchildren that bury the grandfather.

October

In the month of October I would finish up from work.

The coding program where I was teaching would be rounding up.

I was tired and needed time to recover from a stressful September.

Grief affects everyone differently. Until my grandfather’s funeral was concluded I was fine.

The finality of it all really got to me.

November

In the month of November, I would really zone in on the course.

I was way behind so I had to take time off work. I didn’t leave the house for most of the month.

It was a time to mourn and drown myself in work.

December

The month of December would start with me fearing that I would fail the course.

This is due to the large amount of materials that had to be covered.

I could only go over the materials once.

Being a perfectionist, this would leave me jittery.

I would write the final exams exactly 3 months after I started the course on December 9th.

Once I was done, I would have to wait for the results.

Seeing the results brought me joy.

I had passed with a score of 78%.

Could I have done better?

Yes.

But I am grateful that all that work was not in vain.

Conclusion

Being successful with the course, I have a chance to do a Masters with the University of Nicosia.

Some member of the Blockchain Nigeria User Group have already signed up.

Personally my life cannot take the workload so I am opting out.

I will remain grateful to the University of Nicosia for the opportunity to learn about Digital Currencies.